Ramblings of WHY

Hubby and I attended Back to School Night today and I must say that I was very overwhelmed. There is so much to do in schools and so many Moms seem to do it all that I just don't know how to keep up. Now I know that sounds like I'm trying to keep up with the other moms but I'm not, I'm just trying to figure out how to keep up with all my kids. I've always been a good complainer and having 5 kids gives me plenty to complain about. But lately I've come to realize that if I'm going to have 5 kids I need to be responsible about them and raise them the right. I chose to have this many kids so I still need to do homework and change diapers and buck up. This is my choice I need to live with it. I just wish I had chosen to live with it years ago instead of just now. Had my kids been used to coming home and doing their homework right after school it wouldn't be so hard to convince them NOW that we will be doing homework every day after school. Had I read to them every day for 20mins it wouldn't be so hard to read them now AND they would be much better readers which in turn would make them better students which in turn would mean LESS HOMEWORK! But I didn't so now I have twice as much to do than I would have if I had only been good about life in the first place. I'm near tears most of the time just thinking about the time commitment, and fights and everything KNOWING that it's my own *#@% fault. Why are life lessons so hard to learn? Why can't we just start from scratch? Why must we clean up our own messes instead of wiping the board clean? In the movies life lessons are learned and everyone lives happily ever after in two hours! That sounds nice doesn't it?